Benjamin Turland
A lot of people fall away from God in high school, I found Christ in my teens, in a public high school. Or should I say, He found me, and He continually pursued me until I chose Him be the center of my life.
I grew up in a small mountain town in British Columbia called Salmon Arm. I come from a family where faith is not in the home; I am the only Catholic in my house, the only practicing Christian. My family is a home full of love, virtue and morals, but we never talked about Jesus, God, or any faith, it was really a home, or whatever makes you happy.
Going through life, I wondered, though, there must be more to life than what I am living. My best friend Trevor had religion, and he, along with his family, made faith very attractive. My family, we had priorities other than Church, mainly sports, such as skiing and ice hockey, in the winter, and then boating and soccer in the warmer months.
I wanted more to life though, and deep down, I wasn’t happy. I really lacked hope and deeply feared death. At night I would lie there and just think about how I would rot in the ground and decompose. I had zero hope and would often feel overwhelmed and cry at night thinking about this. As I grew older into grade 8, I tried to fill the void I had in my heart, this emptiness with friends. To have these friends led me to drink at parties, smoking marijuana and having conditional love. I realized through these friends and these activities I always felt empty.
I was invited to a Catholic youth group in Grade 10, and I met friends there who loved me for me and invited me to attend Mass at our small 300 person church. When I went that day, although nervous, I felt that I had come home. I didn’t know what to do, but I felt peace. After a few months I asked my Priest to become Catholic, and after many meetings where he answered every doubt and question I had. In Grade 11, I became Catholic, I gave that first Yes to God, to encounter His revelation and be in my life.
I then went on to do ministry for a year after high school, sharing this hope and love that I found and wanted others to have and I travelled Canada giving high school retreats to do so.
After this year, I had a great resume of faith. I had prayed every day, even the rosary, and I had done team prayer also. I loved this so much, that I went on to do a second year and that year, I wanted to be a Team Leader because that meant I was “good enough.” I soon realized that I wasn’t going to be asked to be this role and I had a significant breakdown. My small group leader Mark Doyle, suggested I didn’t have Christ at the center of my life, that I hadn’t given that full yes. I told him my resume and he said, a resume doesn’t mean you have given that yes. It’s about a choice, an adult YES.
So, I went into a chapel, and asked Jesus Christ to be the center of my life, I gave that yes and never looked back.
“BEHOLD, I STAND AT THE DOOR AND KNOCK; IF ANY ONE HEARS MY VOICE AND OPENS THE DOOR, I WILL COME IN TO HIM AND EAT WITH HIM, AND HE WITH ME.”
“CHRIST WITH ME.
CHRIST BEFORE ME.
CHRIST BEHIND ME.
CHRIST IN ME.
CHRIST BENEATH ME.
CHRIST ABOVE ME.
CHRIST ON MY RIGHT.
CHRIST ON MY LEFT.
CHRIST WHEN I LIE DOWN.
CHRIST WHEN I SIT DOWN.
CHRIST WHEN I ARISE. ”