Dustin Bertrand

Where do I start? Well honestly it wasn’t until I was closer to 10 years old that my family began to attend Mass regularly on Sundays. However, it seemed as if God was leading me beforehand because before I “knew” anything about Jesus Christ or had ever been to a Catholic school. My mom and I had a supernatural experience together as she raised me as a single mother until I was 6 years old. This supernatural experience happened one evening/day after she had lost a “Rosary Bracelet”. I do not recall this event but my mom has never forgotten it. My mom had lost this rosary bracelet for a couple of days and randomly, I came up to her and handed her the bracelet she had lost, while being surprised she asked “where did I find it?”. She said without hesitation I answered, “The man told me where it was” and when she questioned more is when the miraculous happened. I said mom, “Jesus told me where it was” which she couldn’t believe because we were not a Church going family and she had never talked to this 3-year-old about Jesus ever. This is a memory which has been enriching to reflect on especially where my life is at now!

Unfortunately, between that moment and what my present life looks like there has been many valleys, and mistakes, many events that have not been the most edifying.

As I shared, my mom raised me as a single mother until I was 6 years old and when I encountered my step-father is when I understood my real dad wasn’t around. This is when the internal battle as an individual began because I started to internalize who my dad was and why wasn’t he here, however not really knowing how to express the struggle externally. When I entered Vermilion Catholic Highschool in 2004 is when sin, faith, and the pains of the world began to take a tole on me. Highschool is the place where the father wound manifested itself in more than internalizing ways. In addition to battling with my identity, my family home became very dysfunctional from witnessing adultery, and abuse, to the extent that my mother’s marriage began to become an on and off thing from 2005 to around 2015 which finalized into a divorce. My relationship with God upon entering high school amongst the beginnings of all this turmoil was merely going to Church on Sundays and when there were school masses.

However, there were two moments in high school where life made me aware of my desire for God. I will share these 2 events in a brief manner; The first is when I was peer pressured to have a threesome but something internally told me, “I can’t”, “I must save that part of me for marriage” so by some strength I dropped the girls off. The second is when the father of my 1st ever girlfriend, which was my first kiss, holding hands, and etc. told his daughter that she couldn’t keep dating me because people would look down on her because of the color of my skin. These moments did a couple of things, I knew Faith meant something to me in some compacity because I wanted to honor my sexuality but then this second event was more like a double edge sword, because I kept my sanity only because of what I believe God said about me but it wasn’t enough belief to overshadow the hurt my humanity felt, so for the next years I operated out of hurt and insecurity.

When I got to college in 2008 at McNeese State University faith meant a lot to me and Sundays I kept God at the forefront but I had a ton of vices that were not yet purified or healed. My Christian walk was confessing the same mortal sins over and over without being able to reform my life. It was as if I was “treading water” in my faith, staying afloat but not persevering in truth. Uniquely though, it was in my sophomore college year where my whole life was altered and when I believe, God started to indirectly water my purpose in my life. I was born with 3 holes in my heart but one remained passed childhood and unfortunately during my sophomore year it required open-heart surgery. When we came to this realization, simultaneously, in that moment I needed to know the story and history of my biological father. It was as if since I knew I could die, I wanted to know where I came from! I wasn’t going to take “I don’t know” or “I can’t remember” from my mother any longer and I approached her full of passion asking her to explain to me who my biological father was. It was in that question that my passion turned to pain and eventually was recycled to purpose.

My mom with a face full of tears explained to me that she truly did not know my biological father because during a night out she was drugged and then taken advantaged of. It was August of 2009 in Abbeville, LA when I found out I was conceived in rape and it’s never left my memory. It was upon that event that motivated me to put the ways of Jesus Christ to the test because I realized in that moment, I never wanted to become that type of individual so if this is real help me become the man of God I am supposed to be. It wasn’t a perfect road and I didn’t get it right away but I began going to retreats to heal things and see with better clarity.

I would say this began my journey back home to my Heavenly Father in an intense way. It hit a high point in 2013 when I entered the Catholic Seminary in New Orleans, LA. St. Bens seminary college is the place where I discovered the fruits of a spiritual life as I discerned the priesthood and healed my addiction to pornography and reestablished chastity. I had struggled with oral sex, pornography, insecurities from racism, and my father wound for many years but within my time there I came out a new man, the old had passed away! My discernment and time of healing there cleared the forest of life’s pains so I could accept my purpose and see it within myself. Upon discerning out of the priesthood I began speaking and now 8 years later I have founded a ministry called “God Made Self Driven” where I am a missionary Evangelist in Southern Louisiana. I have spoken to thousands through live presentations and retreats. In 2019 I self-published a book called “The First Thirty” which is my journey with Christ during my 30 years of life. It has been an amazing ride with the Holy Spirit and it was taught me many things but here are a few specific ones: 1. Its more about who designed us than who conceives us. (Jeremiah 1) 2. If God had a plan for this unplanned man, how much more does He have for you? God’s plan is God’s love for you. 3. Suffering won’t break you, it can build you if you are anchored to Christ. 4. God is near, even when we have a broken concept of Him.

Hope you enjoyed the read and if it be God’s providence, I shall see you my friends!