Brian Eckmann

In the fall of 2008 I moved into a fraternity, treating my bid like a lottery ticket. I would lose much of my identity and grow a new one for the years to come.

Being a cradle Catholic back then was mostly a reason to explain my virginity. While my mind knew little about why I believed in God, a seed had been planted in my heart from the moment of baptism.

College and the few years after saw a somewhat sheltered teenager turn into the culture’s definition of masculinity. That’s exactly what I desired—to be like popular guys. I transformed into a weight-lifting, binge-drinking bro who wanted validation from success and pleasure from women. I felt rather elite and manly because I could seduce women and beat someone at beer pong.

At my “peak” I had the girlfriend, the prestigious consulting job, and a plan to continue being a dominant alpha male. But in less than a month I lost the girl and the job and my self-worth took a nose dive. All I felt like doing was playing Xbox and feeding my porn addiction. My ego turned to shame.

After some rough weeks I woke up one morning and felt like doing something else. I sat in silence and heard a gentle calling. I know now it was the Holy Spirit. It wasn’t a booming voice from above but the sudden motivation to reconnect with words I had read in high school from Matthew Kelly. I couldn’t find the book I once had, but I stumbled across a talk he gave called *Becoming the best version of yourself*. After about 15 minutes of listening, my heart opened up. I realized nothing in my life had ever satisfied me, and I was about to go do it all over again. Suddenly it became clear God had a bigger, better plan for my life. To help me become the best version of myself. My bar went from being the ultimate bro to becoming a saint.

I eventually discovered two truths after that life-changing day. The first was that Jesus was God, and the second was that my life was not about me. Thank God.