Krista Wood
Raised in a Catholic family alongside four sisters, I was a typical child attending Mass with my parents because they told me to not because I had any particular desire to be there.
As I ventured into my teen years I struggled with bullying and my own mental health (though at the time I don't think I knew what to call it!). I was in a dark place and God was the farthest thing from my mind. In fact, I had convinced myself that God couldn't possibly exist, because no loving God would allow me to struggle in the way I was.
In 2005, I was invited to attend World Youth Day in Cologne, Germany. Though I had no particular interest in the religious aspects of this trip, the prospect of traveling the world with friends eventually won me over. I can still remember taking off on that first plane and thinking or I suppose praying, "God, here's your chance. If you exist, prove it!"
After spending a week or so in Holland, we made our way to Cologne for the big event. And though I was pretty good at putting on a happy, excited mask, this was the part I was dreading the most. I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of young people surrounding me - 1.2 million young Catholics from around the world. They were singing, telling stories, dancing, and enjoying time with one another. But as the night began to set in, the mood on the field quickly changed. As a monstrance displaying the Body of Christ was placed on the Altar, the music and talking ceased. People around me fell to their knees, others raised their arms in praise, and I sat there looking at that large gold monstrance thinking- what's so special about that? For hours I sat there in silence, and slowly tears began to stream down my face. This was the "moment" I had hoped for but could never have imagined. I knew right then and there that God did in fact exist and that deep down He wanted to have a relationship with me even though I wasn't really sure what that meant. I had no other explanation for why this crowd of 1.2 million teenagers were silent other than the fact that for those few hours they were sitting, standing, and kneeling face to face with their Saviour.
I so desperately wanted to feel the love that they felt from this God that I had been so distant from and over the course of the next few weeks, months, and years my relationship with Jesus began to grow.
During my teen years I prayed adamantly for God to help take away my pain, to help me through some of the most difficult moments in my life and I had felt like my prayers went unanswered. But as I grew in my faith, I came to realize that God had placed amazing individuals on my path to help me through those moments.
My faith journey has taken many twists and turns over the years and though there have been many moments where I've questioned my faith and doubted God, through bad relationships, the struggles of University life, career opportunities and changes, the death of a mentor and my own struggle with mental health, looking back on it all now there was never a moment when God wasn't with me. As I've told many students over the years, you can slam the door and lock God out of your life all you want, but He is going to stand on the other side knocking unceasingly until you open it up to Him again!
The year after that first World Youth Day experience, I was hired by my local Bishop as the Diocesan Coordinator for Youth Ministry. It was a job I loved and felt truly called to do, however I felt incredibly unworthy and unqualified, and as anyone in ministry knows, it was not exactly the most financially sustainable job if I ever wanted to move out of my parents house. So with the encouragement of my Bishop, I began my studies in Theology. By the time I had completed my degree, the financial state of my diocese wasn't the greatest and they were unable to hire me back to my position. Weeks later on a whim I applied for a chaplaincy job in Niagara and within the month my world was flipped upside down as I moved to a new city and a new job, knowing absolutely no one. This was the time when I came to truly appreciate the gift of the Church, the Body of Christ. I was never alone when I went to Mass or Adoration. It is in the Church, graced by the presence and reception of the Blessed Sacrament and surrounded by other Catholics on their own faith journey, where I found and continue to find my strength and resolve to give my life to God, doing what little I can as a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, girlfriend, coworker, and chaplain to support and encourage others on the road to sainthood.