Emily Harpole
I'm a cradle Catholic and was always the involved, Theology-loving, youth group gal. From the outside, everything was perfect and I was on fire for my faith. But for too long, no one knew how much I felt I was living a double life. Whether it was vanity, greed, or a long struggle with personal sexual sin, I often felt no one could know what I was really like; what I was really struggling with.
The whole persona followed me to Benedictine College (my favorite place on earth) where I studied Theology, but everything I was studying hadn't penetrated my heart. It took a rough break-up and a hard freshman year for me to finally call out to God for help.
My mom had to go to a funeral three hours from my school, so I drove up to meet her. During our visit, a family friend started telling me about Divine Mercy and St. Faustina. I was in a dark place and something in me stirred. I knew mercy was what I desired. As I was driving back I started thinking of ways I wanted to stop living that double life and knew the Lord was calling me to dive deeper into His mercy.
He then led me to have a powerful experience at World Youth Day in Krakow, followed by a semester studying abroad in Italy where I learned to trust and turn to Him as never before. I remember sitting in adoration once while studying abroad, so overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord. I told Him I wanted to give Him everything...that all my life's work would be for Him.
I continued through college and found He was calling me to open up about my story and struggle with sexual sin. As I started working with other women, I saw the Lord was using my story for something beautiful: to bring other people closer to Him. The Lord took an area of my life that brought so much pain, and made it an opportunity to encounter others in their own shame, in order to help pull them out. He also healed my heart immensely from that struggle and freed me after years of going back to the same things.
I ended up spending my first year post-grad as a missionary with The Culture Project. We would go into schools and youth groups to speak to students about their dignity and the beauty of living out sexual integrity in relationships. My desire to break down the walls of shame in those around me only grew as a missionary. Now it's what I try to do by sharing my story and working with others.
Through all of it, the Lord has taught me that too often today, people fall into sins or struggles that make them feel unworthy of love. We don’t even know what love is anymore, which makes it easier to fall for counterfeits. The Lord has shown me over and over again the power of loving through letting other people into my story, and allowing them to share their own.