Monét Souza
What a gift David is and his beautiful ministry, Yes Catholic. One of the questions that David sent my way to reflect on was “where did you wander?” but I feel called to answer the question “where do I wander?” Lately, I have been coming to terms that I am a workaholic, that I thrive off of stress and a busy schedule, that I will say yes to anything people ask of me because I know I can do it. However, lately I have been wandering away from this lifestyle and wandering in the presence of the Father, allowing Him to speak peace and love into my heart.
Wander is defined as “to walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way.” I don’t know about you, but this is not at all how my life for the past 24 years has looked like. Truthfully, I always believed that the busier one was, the more responsibilities one had, was how to define my worth in the eyes of another. Truthfully, God does not care about putting our worth in any of that. He wonders on a regular basis if we have loved well, if we have been present to those around us, if we are following His Commandments. Through this journey in my life so far of coming back home to this reality of where and what the Lord wants me to be doing happened back in February of this year. I was on a plane headed to Steubenville, OH on my way to visit some friends for the weekend and to celebrate my friend’s bridal shower. As I was on the plane I had my journal with me and was just settling into my thoughts. My phone had just been put on airplane mode, we were getting ready to take off, and I started to cry. I had realized that this was the first moment of true silence I had in over a year.
As the weekend progressed, I had been sitting in our household common room with some friends and sisters of mine when one of my friend’s asked what my day to day looks like. I looked at her and said, “Do you really want to know?” After walking my friends through my Monday-Sunday schedule, all the jobs that I work, all the volunteer work I do, all the lack of free time I have, my friend looked at me and said “That is not a healthy way for anyone to live.” This was finally God using my epiphany word and saying HELLO do you see it yet? Do you see how busy you are? From this moment back in February, I vowed to change my life around and make more time for Monét. I signed up for Reform Wellness, which is amazing, and I am almost done with my 6 week program. I will be ending three jobs I currently have between this month and August to focus my time and energy on A Message of Hope. Truthfully, so far, I feel lighter, happier, grounded, and more focused on Christ because I have finally made time for Him!
Do I have it all together? Heck no, not even close. However, the fact that the Lord, silence, and wonderful friends helped bring this to my attention, I am so grateful. This journey so far has taught me to reflect on where I find my worth and where I place my identity. If it’s not in the Lord, then I’ve got some work to do. Thank God for beautiful ministries like Reform Wellness, Yes Catholic, and so many others! God Bless!