Annie Harton
My parents named me Anne which means “full of grace.” I was named after St. Anne, Jesus’ grandmother, and was baptized Catholic a month after I was born. My maternal grandparents became my godparents and have been my prayer warriors throughout my life.
Looking back on my life story, it can most definitely be described as grace-filled. After my parents struggled with infertility for a few years after getting married in their 30’s, my dad’s brother passed away (in his 30’s). Not too long after my family said goodbye to my uncle, they found hope in saying hello to me as the first grandchild on that side of the family. My paternal grandma especially bonded with me in a special way as her broken heart missed her son. She is affectionately known as Beebah and I am beyond blessed to now live in the house where she and Peepah raised my dad and uncles. This same house was where I spent the night as a 2-year-old before my parents brought home my quadruplet siblings from the hospital. Yup, that’s right. I went from being an only child to a big sister of four in one day! Our house definitely became FULL of grace!
One of the ways my dad bonded with me was introducing me to Yankee baseball. As a teen, Derek Jeter’s autobiography inspired me to follow my dreams. My dream was not as clear as Derek’s was, but I knew I loved love and wanted to help others love.
My dream began to form as I took a psychology class in high school. Our Lady then led me to The Avenue at Saint Mary’s College where I became a confident and courageous Belle. I studied psychology and religious studies/lay ministry. I passionately integrated them whenever possible as I often pondered, “how can we love without knowing Love?” I wanted to be a Christ-centered marriage and family therapist!
Since I loved studying theology and I was not quite ready to leave Notre Dame, Indiana, I became an Echo Apprentice at Notre Dame. While I earned my MA in Theology in a small, intimate community of colleagues, I knew this “detour” in my career would provide many graces. I was placed in a parish across the country to work under a DRE to learn to be a catechetical leader. Though I loved teaching the faith to parishioners and coordinating weddings in the church, I was still feeling a strong pull to become a licensed therapist so I could help people in a way that lay ministers couldn’t. I returned home to Indianapolis and earned an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy and discovered group practices with other Christian therapists.
It was not easy to go through marriage counseling school with a heart longing for my future spouse. In my 2nd year of classes, I had my first kiss and entered into my first dating relationship. He seemed to be the guy I had been waiting for all of these years. This would be the final piece of the puzzle so I would soon be a married marriage counselor rather than a single one. Little did I know that God’s grace would come not from him proposing to me, but instead from him breaking up with me as he shopped for rings. That breakup wrecked me as I hit rock-bottom. I started to understand clients’ attraction to suicide. It was a wake-up call for me to check where I was placing my true identity.
My plan in life did not include being single in my 30’s. I walked the Camino de Santiago the summer I turned 30 to ask God “why?” On the walk, I hoped to reflect and let go of what had been and embrace a new decade of God’s surprises. On my 30th birthday, I began a year-long dating fast as I was writing a book about what I have learned about love as a single marriage counselor. I became a self-published author by my 31st birthday!
A few months later, a very short-term relationship ended in a breakup. I broke up with him before Valentine’s Day when I had planned to gift him with a Groupon for ballroom dancing lessons. I kept it throughout the pandemic as I prayed about what to do about it as a single woman without a dance partner. I thought the pandemic would be a nightmare for an extroverted single woman, but it was actually a blessed opportunity to “be still and know” my true identity in Christ. A possible diagnosis of high-functioning Autism (or Aspergers) in my 30’s was hard to process, but helped to explain some quirks and struggles I’ve had. Like my identity as a big sister and a single marriage counselor, this diagnosis would not define me.
This past Spring, I had my first lesson at the dance studio and was full of joy, gratitude, and awe. I loved every minute on the dance floor and my teacher invited me to compete with him! Becoming a competitive ballroom dancer has helped me to hear God’s voice in new, fresh ways as He teaches me to “follow” Him. As I entered into my “Jesus year” last week as a 33-year-old, I am assured that God’s will is not arbitrary or random. As the Gospel focuses on Jesus in his 30’s, I know that I am invited to discover Good News each and every day in my 30’s. I walk in His sandals in the therapy room, through my writing, and on the dance floor. Though I feel every splinter of the Cross, I am free to rest in the promise of the Resurrection.