Kim Zember
Since I was young I remember being more drawn to girls than the boys but it wasn’t until high school that I decided to act on the attractions I had for women. The years following I hid my attractions from my family and friends because of the shame and guilt I felt about not only what I had done but how I was feeling because I always had a deep rooted understanding that I wasn’t meant to live a homosexual lifestyle. Torn between my desires and the truth I knew within, I began living a double life, and it was a battle I struggled with nearly every day.
I was in a cycle of relationships that were not truly fulfilling my deepest desires. I realized that I was “god” over my own life, living a homosexual lifestyle and fighting the conviction I had, that the God I grew up believing in, had a different plan for me than the way I was living. Accepting the reality that I was not meant to be or even good at being “god”, I desperately cried out to Jesus and asked Him to be Lord over my life and asked for His help for me to trust His ways. From that moment on, the heaviness I had been living in for so many years began to lift. I began to see sexuality through God’s heart instead of just my own. I made a personal commitment to myself to not date anyone until God gave me clarity. I began to have peace in my life, a peace that I had been searching for, and for the first time in my life I began to feel fulfilled in a way like never before. I felt like I was beginning to learn and experience who God really was and in turn who I really was to Him.
In the beginning it was hard not being in a relationship Abba’s feeling alone, but I had the support of good friends that were there for me on my journey. I was beginning to find great freedom in my life. I was becoming free from anxiety, depression, and duplicity that were overwhelmingly present in my past. I experienced living in an authenticity and freedom that I didn’t know was possible. This journey has not been free from struggle, but giving my whole life to Jesus has been the best decision I have ever made and has been worth every challenge I have faced and He has been my strength.
I believe that being transparent about my life, both past and present, is a way for people to see how the Lord has and continues to love us so beautifully into the plans He has for our life!
I feel that authenticity with one another in God's love and truth is needed today more than ever.
I find true joy in sharing the love, freedom, and restoration I have found through my personal relationship with Jesus, whether in my hometown or my ‘home away from home’, Ethiopia. I love sharing the testimony of the radical transformation of my life through the relationship I have with Jesus. For the first time in my life, I have found fulfillment in being ‘single’, with my eyes and heart set on my Lord and focused on the call He has on my life and the continued comfort and guidance from Holy Spirit as I desire to live each day that God gives me.