Taylor Faye
Hey, I’m Taylor, I am a cradle Catholic born and raised in Southern California. I am currently getting my Masters in Speech Language Pathology. In my free time I volunteer at church and spend time with my family and friends.
Growing up, I always knew God was important, I prayed before bed, and I went to church on Sundays. It wasn’t until 8th grade when my life flipped upside down that I realized that I desperately needed God. In 8th grade, I was suddenly hit with severe anxiety. It lasted for about two years and it changed my life, looking back at it now, for the better. My anxiety at this time stemmed from the fact that there were things out of my control and that bad things could happen and there was nothing I could do to stop them. So what did I do? I tried to control absolutely everything!!! I lacked so much trust in God, yet this was the time I turned to Him most. For two years I prayed for my anxiety to be taken away, my mom wrote bible verses on post it notes and put them on all of my stuff, and I even spoke with a Catholic therapist. Then I went on a Steubenville retreat, the summer going into my sophomore year of high school. During Saturday night adoration, I remember kneeling and begging God to help me trust Him more, I had blocked everything out, but there was a brief moment where it was like my ears were opened and my heart was pierced by the lyrics, “spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me.” At this moment it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I was able to think clearly and I was able to finally start utilizing all of the strategies I had learned to manage my anxiety. It was through this time that I not only realized that I love God, but that He loves me! This propelled a prayer and faith life that has only grown over the years, a life striving for holiness!
For years my biggest struggle in life has been a lack of trust, a grasping at control, a fight against perfectionism, and a lack of surrender! I would say that up until this past year, my need to control has consumed me, but this past year God has so gently reminded me that no matter how much I try, I am not in control. He has reminded me that He is a loving Father, a Father who desires my good! This is something God is working on each day in me, in the little things, He is teaching me to let go of control, to trust in His plan, and to embrace my true feminine nature, which is receptivity and openness to the Father’s love. Each day I am being stripped of the chains that bind me and I am so grateful for the Lord’s loving and merciful heart and for Mary’s beautiful example of true and authentic feminine trust in the Lord!