Chris Bray

I grew up in a devout Catholic home. We attended Mass every Sunday and I was involved in music ministry, as an altar server and youth group. We did all of the right things to be Catholic and had the discipline. However, I didn’t have any sort of a relationship with Christ. To me, faith was just like homework, something that needed to be done and checked off my list. Religion was my one hour a week on Sunday mornings and I would rather be just about anywhere else, except at church. I knew all the right prayers, but had no idea who God was.

It wasn’t until an encounter I had at a special prayer service that my life changed dramatically. This was one of those occasions where my parents forced me to attend, and reluctantly I sat watching a room full of ultra-enthusiastic Charismatics sing, dance and pray like I had never seen before. I watched resentfully, wanting the night to be over, thinking to myself that I did not belong in this very unfamiliar style of “church”.

However, it was in that very moment that I felt God stir in my heart. Looking back years later, I recognize that I felt His prompting to get in line for prayer ministry. As I waited my turn, I kept thinking how ridiculous this whole thing was. I wasn’t even sure if I believed in God, yet at the same time still felt compelled to open my heart.

When I made it to the front of the line, the group of people ministering in prayer asked me what I wanted prayers for. I honestly didn’t even understand the question. In my mind I was running through all of the prescribed prayers like the Our Father or the Hail Mary... it must have been evident to them that I was new to this personal type of prayer ministry, so they asked me, “Chris, are you struggling with anything in your life specifically that we can pray for with you?”.

In that moment, the only thing that was brought to mind was my burden. Leading up to this I had struggled with a learning disability. I was almost failing most of my classes. I had a hard time reading, writing and learning new concepts. I struggled with the anger and frustration that I had to put so much more effort into academics than everyone else, yet I still wasn’t cutting it...

So in response to their question, I said, “I want to be healed of my learning disability”. I closedmy eyes, opened my hands and we began to pray. That prayer was the first honest, sincere and authentic prayer I had ever prayed in my life and it changed me. I was transformed in that moment. My doubts about God seemed to fade away as I recognized Him in a real and tangible way. I felt His love and His grace flood into my life like a stream. It was like I came alive.

That encounter set me on a new journey towards faith as I began to grow and seek after God. While I wasn’t healed immediately in that moment, and while I still struggled to learn and overcome my obstacle of a learning disability, I had the presence of God in my life in an unwavering way.

To me, this is a lesson of how God can demonstrate His power and strength through our weaknesses. It is a constant reminder of how He chooses to use us, despite our brokenness, failures and inadequacy. He has a plan for each of us, and even though we might feel ill-equipped, He is confident that we are the perfect fit, created by His design.

Not only in that first encounter, but over and over again in my life I have come to recognize His providence, faithfulness and grace working to do extraordinary things, through a simple surrender and “yes” to Him.