Maria Bitelli
My story is about restoration through Jesus.
The past can leave big holes, lots of pain, anger, resentment - I spent so much of my teen to adult years holding on to that anger and hurt and it wasn’t until I surrendered and let the Lord in, was I able to pull myself out from the darkness that consumed me.
I don’t care what anyone says, it was through Christ that I had the strength to be released from my addictions.
I started living in the flesh at a very young age, 3 different high schools, and in my grade 12 year I took drugs in the dorm rooms and it unlocked memories from my childhood I had completely forgotten. The abuse I endured from ages 4 -12 by a family member were now at the forefront of my mind. This only brought me into further destruction because I had no clue how to navigate trauma, so I ran away from myself.
I numbed myself.
I had my son just before my 21st birthday, thought my marriage, and son would heal me. It was just a Band-Aid over a bullet wound of hurt. I was angry at God, hated everything that had to do with the church, had to blame someone, and why did this so-called God let this happen?
My marriage fell apart, the darkest years of my life ensued - almost losing custody of my son, arrested to the psych ward, that I had an encounter with the enemy himself - and in that very moment, all I knew to do was to cry out and lean into the one place I knew to run, and that was Jesus. In that very moment, I remember hearing my mother’s prayers coming through the light in my room. A friend I hadn’t spoken to in months had randomly text my mother saying the enemy wanted me and she needed to pray. My mother was at the church praying for me; I was 20 minutes away and could legitimately hear her prayers. The doubt that I ever had that God was real were gone. In that moment I gave my life over to Jesus.
I’d be lying to you if it was like a switch went off and everything was suddenly easy, but He gave me the strength to forgive, to heal, to become a witness to His miracle. Seek and You shall find.