Sincerely Alanis

Identity wounds. My story is riddled with them.

You might know me as the AOH Girl, the Modesty Girl or the “We’re Catholic, of course we __” Girl… but above all else, I am ‘Daughter of The King’ & for this title (& my Father), I boast!

Rejoicing over my Daughterhood hasn’t always been my reality. As hinted above, my self image was heavily distorted. Isn’t it interesting how the enemy targets the areas the Lord has the greatest plans to transform you through?

Heres the story of how the Lord did just that:

We often hear testimonies of the danger of having a head knowledge of the Lord that’s devoid of a heart knowledge… but I had the opposite experience. Growing up I had a natural intimacy with Jesus, but I lacked proper catechesis. The childlike love I experienced for the Lord was deep & may seem sufficient, but it’s hard to love someone in action when you don’t know the ways they desire to be loved. It’s difficult to uphold morals, when you’re unsure of what those morals even are.

So, when I entered teenage-hood, I experienced the repercussions of this as I carried the ache all women carry, a cry to be known and deemed as beautiful, not knowing where to direct this desire. I grasped in all directions, seeking to fulfill it. I sought it in men, my appearance, & in many other places, minus the Lord. This ironically left me more insecure bc while i found momentary fulfillment through those outlets, I knew deep down the gratification I received wasn’t for *who* I was, but rather for parts of me. My makeup. My fashion. My manufactured “beauty”.

Meanwhile, my sister (who had been far from the Lord) had a radical conversion that was sparked by a 54-day novena offered by her best friend (pray for your friends, y’all). I witnessed the freedom in her heart & a love that drew her into action: she removed her piercings, boycotted makeup, & devoted herself to study the God she fell in love with, & as I witnessed this - I wept w desire & allowed my sister to impart this fear of the Lord unto me.

The Lord invited me into an uncomfortable pruning process. A SLOW conversion, if you will (& daily conversions to this day). This was the season He began to shed my false identities & led me into my modesty journey. I later joined a mission called the Culture Project, which continued this work the Lord began. It was through this mission that I finally began to view myself as “gift”. 

Through my testimony, I’ve come to understand that the majority of our culture’s issues stem from these identity crises. For this reason, beyond my passion for modesty, femininity & social media - my core mission is to target this wound. To point women to their Daughterhood bc when you know you’re a daughter of the King, that changes everything.  👑