Maria Brock
My story is one of discernment, embracing the artist within me, and how my “no” led to the greatest healing of my life.
My story could begin with “I grew up with in a Catholic family of 8…” but even though my childhood is a big part of me, my biggest story is unfolding in front of my eyes right now. My name is Maria. I’m a data analyst, sacred artist, and a Catholic woman who has found the greatest Love and healing through my discernment journey towards religious life and ultimately away from religious life.
My story could be sectioned out into 4 years:
2019: was in the biggest season of depression, anxiety, and scrupulosity
2020: was healed of my depression and scrupulosity, and started active discernment of religious life
2021: was accepted to a religious order and started preparing for entrance the next year
2020: 3 months before entrance, decided to say “no” and received the biggest healing from God through that decision.
In 2019, I came the closest to wandering away from God. My scrupulosity and anxiety overwhelmed me and I became used to merely going through the movements. Through the guidance of a compassionate priest, and the writings of St. Therese, the Lord drew me back to Him gently and rapidly. From there, the next two years consisted of discernment of religious life. My journey of discernment of religious life and my time in therapy has shaped who I am today, as has my decision to ultimately say “no”. I can never know the mind of God, but I know that He used my discernment journey and therapy to bring me to a place where I could walk away without fearing a wrathful God. He knew that I needed that experience to then receive healing of my relationship with Him and how He could show me that I would be safe with Him, no matter the external circumstances of my life. Now, I am intent on showing the ardent love and patience of God for others. One way that I’ve felt called to do so is through my sacred art. I started painting digital art in 2021 and since then have been able to connect with so many people struggling in conceptualizing a loving God. I made it my mission to create representations of Jesus, Mary, the Holy Family, and saints in a joyful and kind way. I’ve received so many messages of gratitude from people who, like me, struggled with an image of a vindictive God. Through this art, I’ve been able to connect to the Body of Christ like no other. Because of my gratitude for the exorbitant love of God that He has showered upon me, I hope to pass along some portion of it to others.
I can be connected with @magnificat.prints or www.magnificatprints.com