Keith Nester

Becoming Catholic was not easy for me. Like many other converts, I had my share of misconceptions, obstacles, and hangups. The biggest obstacle for me was the fact that my faith/church perspective was also my career. At 20 years old I entered into full-time ministry as a youth pastor. Throughout my 22 year career in ministry I have done many things in churches. Senior pastor, teaching pastor, worship leader, missions coordinator, etc. My faith was my life, and the idea of leaving it all behind to become a Catholic was something that I wrestled with greatly. I never in a million years would have thought I would one day become a Catholic. I had no Catholics in my family. Growing up as the son of a United Methodist pastor, I had no exposure to the Catholic faith other than what I had heard from people who hated the Catholic faith. When I met my wife, I asked her if she went to church. She said “I’m Catholic but I don’t go to church”. I took her to my church and she loved it! We got married in the Methodist church where I worked; and never looked back. Until….

Like many others who ultimately convert, my first experience with a Catholic who actually practiced his faith proved to be life changing. His name is Devin Schadt. At the time we met, he was working as a graphic designer. I hired him to create a logo for our youth ministry which led to some interesting conversations about faith/church and eventually his Catholic faith. My first impression of him was that he seemed to love Jesus and have a vibrant faith. This seemed very strange to me, because as I sat in his dining room looking at the logos he had produced, I was intrigued by the icons, paintings and other “catholic looking” stuff he had in his house. Who does that? What was his deal? I had to press him on this. I had never actually heard a Catholic talk about Jesus the way Devin did. I had assumed that he just hadn’t read the bible enough to see how his Catholic faith contradicted the scriptures. I was licking my chops at the idea of sharing some simple verses with him and explaining the gospel. I was certain after a few minutes he would be ready to become a “real” Christian, pray the sinner’s prayer, and leave all this superstitious hocus pocus behind him. I asked him, “Devin, when were you saved?” I wanted to see how a catholic would answer this question. I didn’t expect much. Boy was I wrong.

Not only did Devin have an answer to that question, but he had his own questions for me. Questions I was in no way prepared for. For example, “Keith, where did your bible come from?” “By what authority were the books of the New Testament canonized?” “Why are there so many Protestant denominations?” “How do we know who is accurately teaching the truth of Christianity when there are so many differences between protestant denominations?” And so many more!

Devin and I would go on to have many conversations over the years. We would take a pilgrimage to Rome and Medjugorje together. We would argue passionately. I tried to make him a Protestant and he tried to make me a Catholic. During this time, my ministry and my family were growing. I loved my role in my church. God was moving and things were great. Although there were many things Devin had showed me that challenged my protestant thinking, I was still too afraid to seriously entertain the idea of converting. However, there was one night in particular where God called me out. I was at a church camp and one of my friends was leading the youth in a communion service. It was nothing new to me, but as he worked his way through the service and held up the bread and juice and said “this represents Jesus”, I knew that this was not what Jesus said, and I also knew this wasn’t what the Christian Church believed for 1500 years. It was as if God was calling to me “come home and I’ll show you more..” I broke down and left the room. I called Devin and confessed to him that I was feeling called to become catholic. I was terrified he would rub it in my face that he was right (only because that’s what I would’ve done), but he didn’t. He simply said he was there to help.

I wish this was the part of my story where I converted, but it’s not. I was too afraid. I bailed because I couldn’t wrap my mind around how this could work. What would I do for a job? What would my family think? How could I explain this? All of these questions overpowered the leading I felt and I put this whole catholic thing behind me; for many years. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.

It would be more than 10 years later (life had it’s major highs and major lows) but eventually God’s call home would become something I could no longer ignore. I had been the “Pastor to Youth and Mission” at a medium sized United Methodist Church for a couple years when a good friend of mine named Greg invited my wife and I to attend a screening of “Apparition Hill”. This movie was a documentary that followed seven strangers on a pilgrimage to Medjugorje. I hadn’t thought about that trip in quite a while, but when Greg called I figured I’d better go, since he was the one who originally took me on that first all expenses paid (by Greg) trip all those years ago. My wife Estelle and I went with Greg and his wife Sandi. The movie brought so many things back into my mind and had me in tears a few times. It’s a great film on many levels, but for me it was clearly used by our Blessed Mother to reach out to me.

I had been in a bit of a storm in my church. Although my local church was great, our denomination was a mess. It had become clear to me that without an authoritative voice to not only interpret scripture, but even history, that chaos and schism were inevitable. For the United Methodists (and many other protestants) the cultural issues of the day surrounding marriage and scripture were unraveling what was once a strong denomination. I found myself at odds with many people who wanted the church to change with the times. It didn’t seem to bother them that the scriptures clearly defined things like marriage and human sexuality. “That’s just one interpretation”. “The church has had it wrong all these years and we will fix it”. “God doesn’t hate. He/she loves everybody so you can’t judge anyone”. These were just some of statements I wrestled against all the while knowing that I really didn’t have a leg to stand on without some kind of external God given authority to tell me other wise. At one point in one of my conversations with a very liberal pastor friend, she said to me, “Keith if you believe all that Church authority stuff then why aren’t you a catholic?” Great question!

I had begun to reopen that idea. It seemed that the more I thought about everything Devin and I had argued about, all these years later it made perfect sense. I was in a different place. I had learned that not listening to God is the worst thing you can do. I still had various objections. I still had my issues, but I had began to feel a new sense of calling and a new presence in my life. It took me a while to put my finger on it, but it all became clear to me as I was preparing to preach a sermon on the Annunciation (it was Advent- so we could talk about Mary ). As I worked on this message in my office, I became overcome with emotion. The more I thought about Mary, the more I became aware of not only how amazing she was, but how connected to the Holy Spirit she continues to be. I felt her presence. When I preached that sermon to my congregation, I could feel the Holy Spirit moving. I talked about how Mary was the “New Eve” and the “New Ark of the Covenant.” I talked about how amazing she must have been for the angel Gabriel to greet her “Hail, full of grace”. The people were so intrigued by this. One man came forward afterward in tears and said he’d never heard anything like that before. There is so much more I could say about this, but the bottom line is: My doctrinal objections were solved not by arguments, but by The Blessed Mother capturing my heart. However, I still had the issue of what my life would look like if I converted. I still had no idea how that would work. My dad had told me once, “Keith you can’t just quit your job and become Catholic, there needs to be a way”. He meant that I needed to know how I would feed my family. What would I do for a job? What about my ministry?

The answers to those questions wouldn’t be revealed to me for some time, but one night as I prayed before a crucifix, I said to Jesus, “Lord, I am ready to become Catholic, but I need you to make a way.” With as much clarity as I have ever had from God, Jesus spoke to me from the crucifix. “I am the way, the truth and the life. You don’t need me to make a way, you just need ME”. I knew what this meant. I had just received my blessing during the mass because I couldn’t receive the Eucharist. Jesus was showing me that He was not only truly present in the Eucharist, but also that my primary need was not for God to make things easy or fully revealed, but rather to take a step of faith like I had never taken before. He was showing me that what I truly needed was not control, or assurance. What I needed was Him.

Friends, the fact is this: even if we lose everything we have in this world but gain Jesus, we have won! I had to get to the place where I didn’t need it all to work out perfectly in order to convert. I had to be willing to sacrifice it all for Jesus. Once I was able to take that step, it all became clear. There was no looking back. Jesus said, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.” Matthew 13:44

After all these years, I was finally ready to buy the field. I am so happy I did. Since becoming Catholic, things have not been easy. I have lost friends, money, security, stability and more. But what I have gained has been more valuable than I could ever have asked for. The blessings I have received are incomparable with what I sacrificed. God has been true to His word. I know that no matter what happens in this life I will never leave the Church. My life’s mission now is to help others on their journey in the faith. I am so humbled that God has allowed me many opportunities to do just that.